It seems that whenever there is a problem in my life, I close my sense off and refuse to feel anything. Well, it’s natural not to want to feel pain, we are human beings and are very much driven by appetitive measures rather than aversive measures.
For reasons unknown to me I have been feeling glum.
Plus, the weather is dreary.
I feel raw at times, more sensitive than usual.
This happens to us all because we are humans and humans break down so very easily. It does not mean that you or I or anyone else is defective. It means that we have blood coursing through our veins and have been facing the world without respite. There is nothing that I have done to cause such feelings. The truth of the matter is that sometimes they creep up on you when you least expect it.
And you question the universe, what did I ever do to deserve feeling like this?
We are ruled by a sense that good things come to good people and bad things come to bad people.
Are all of these bad things telling me that I am a bad person?
Where have I gone wrong?
These questions do not help anyone nor do they actually have truthful answers.
Negative moods, failures, regrets, bugaboos, heavy hearts, and tears are just another part of life.
They by no means define who you are as a person.
So instead of fighting the sadness, instead of torturing yourself with questions to a universe that has been and will always be mute, just float.
Float in your feelings and senses.
Of course, this will not be comfortable.
Just feel for a moment in order to validate your feelings.
Float in the worries and the sadness. Take the time to take care of yourself, a lesson that I have been struggling with for the greater part of my life. Grab a cozy sweater. Drink tea. Read sad French poetry, I recommend “Zone” by Apollinaire. Look at pictures of your grandpa. Reach out to loved ones. Be sure to eat, even when you cannot seem to muster the energy to do so. Breathe.
Cast your fear aside and boldly state, “I am feeling blue”, truth be told, more people will understand how you feel than you may expect.
Many may be in the same boat that you are.
That boat that you are trying to navigate in rocky seas, with a mere wooden paddle and a newly sprung leak in the bow.
The boat will dock safely,
you will have managed to find safety, shelter, and warmth,
keep paddling, but before you do, please float.