Sometimes the greatest gift that someone can give you is a slap in the face with tough love. My mom did that for me today. I wish that one day I will be able to have a tenth of the strength that she has, then I will be unstoppable. There are times when I know that if she could she would reach through the phone and make me a cup of tea and watch a feel-good movie with me when I am feeling down. There are other times when she lays down reality at my feet, like hot burning coals, and by some miracle gets me across without as much as a single burn.
Today would have been a total waste of a good day if I had not spoken to her on the phone. Sometimes the bugaboos in life, the really hairy scary kind that you expect only to find in dark alleys in London that hang out with shady werewolves, try to suffocate you in a sheet of fear. When you give in just a tad, the scariness can be all consuming. You lose all orientation, all sense of direction. It takes that one special person, who should really wear a cape around to let people know that they are a hero all of the time, like my mother, to take that flimsy, but powerful, sheet off your eyes and to welcome you into the daylight that comes with unconditional love.
In my renaissance of my mood with just a simple conversation with my mother I gave myself to the world today. I walked myself to the grocery store, upon the realization that it is important to take care of myself. Eating and drinking should be regular activities. Bus schedules do not direct my life, I am a strong woman and can manage to navigate this city on foot on my own. But most importantly, I slammed the metaphorical door in the face of fear of the uncertain today and holed up in my room laughing at SNL reruns and “You’ve Got Mail” (now seen 345339088 times).
With my mother, I found peace.
She graciously takes on my problems as well as her own.
I bought a bottle of wine today, something I rarely do on the account of when I open my wallet moths fly out and because I am not a big drinker.
But today, I thought that a glass of wine would have been lovely.
When I went to open the bottle this evening, I realized that I had no corkscrew.
Isn’t that just the epitome of life?
There is something that we really want, that we have been craving, but there is some tinsy tiny little bump in the road that keeps us from realizing our dreams/potentials/goals/possibilities.
I think that we all are just trying to find the corkscrew in our lives.
The benefit of having such a wonderful, supportive, and endearing mother is that she helps me in anyway possible to find that corkscrew.
We both love wine, there will be no stopping us in enjoying it.
We both love life, there will be no stopping us in enjoying it either.