I Must Become the Lion-Hearted Girl

I’m going into my 13th hour of today. For most of the day I was quite convinced that it was Tuesday. There is nothing very special about this Tuesday so who knows what that was about. I do know that it made me question whether or not I was on the right schedule today. I am pretty sure I went to all of my classes and work and such.

The good news about today is that I spent a good deal of time practicing my teaching for my upcoming interview. Gracious me I was a nervous hot mess. Every time I am reminded of the interview my stomach free falls faster than that crazy man who jumped out of space and plummeted down to Earth. My interview is this Thursday and I can barely stand to think of it or even prepare for it.

I freaked myself out last night by talking up the interview with thoughts like “if you don’t get this then you are going to have to figure out a whole other plan for after graduation” and “this is the measure of your entire being” and especially “you have nothing grown up to wear to that interview. Everything that you own has at one point in time been covered in peanut butter”. As FATM would sing:I am a rabbit heart, frozen in the headlights.

This is my big chance, my finest moment if you will, to really dazzle my interviewers. I am semi confident in my teaching skit and basically have it memorized. I believe that I will be able to answer eloquently any question my interviewers may lob at me. I am the best person for this job. They need me as much as I need them. According to FATM again, I must become the lion-hearted girl.

Until Thursday I don’t think that I will be able to rest or fully relax.

Last night I had a dream that I could not calculate 7 + 7. I came up with 48. In front of the interviewers and my fellow interviewees.

What a nightmare.

This calls for the donning of the big girl panties.

I am so close to achieving something wonderful. My days are so long and so tiring. There has to be something beautiful waiting for me.

I’m so close.

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