My Own Enigma

I have no idea why I do some things. I am assuming that it has to do with some wiring within myself that has gone a little wack-a-doodle. The other day I found out that I was invited to the final interview process for Teach for America. Instead of reflecting on my being chosen for the interview in yesterday’s post like I originally planned, I supplemented it with French music. Why? Because I have trouble accepting that I can be rewarded for my hard work and *shock* *gasp* might even deserve it. No. Not might. Erase that from this sentence. Actually, erase that from my vocabulary all together. It is the most useless word that I implement regularly.

I am not an education major; I am a psychology major. For me to have been recognized as a valuable candidate is quite a feat. These teaching opportunities are nationwide. Remember praying for “big prayers”? This is definitely one of those times. While I am in awe that my application was given such attention, I have to remember that I have worked incredibly hard throughout my college career. Good things come to those who work hard and are nice. I believe that I fit into both of those categories.

It does not benefit anyone reading this to reiterate the fact that life is a constant struggle. I am pretty sure that most of us are aware of this little nugget of annoying knowledge. What I can say that, for me at least, when life somehow gives me a break, when God rewards me or, rather, grants me an august opportunity, that I have a minor freak out. It is a blessing, but it is also scary. I love working hard just for the sake of doing so. We in the field of psychology would deem this as intrinsic. In the words of Ron Swanson from the television show “Parks and Rec”: “Never half ass two things; whole ass one thing.

I do not really know where I am going with this now. The important thing is that I believe that I deserve the chance to interview with Teach for America, that I will continue to work hard as if this opportunity was not available to me, and that I will pray with all of my being to be pointed in the right direction that will hold my future.

Also, I finished my first knitting creation. Uber exciting! Sure, it may be lopsided and there are some obvious mistakes but it is in one piece and, to me, quite lovely.

Cute little mug cozy! Now I have to figure out what to make next. I really want  to knit a pair of socks. I have no idea how to do that and it seems quite complicated. Challenge accepted.

Now. Yesterday I found myself drinking coffee the entire day. A sip here and there. Who knows how much I actually drank. I was so exhausted from this incredibly busy week that by five o’clock. I decided that I needed some “me” time. And to drink water, because I felt dehydrated and I sometimes forget the basic things that humans need to survive. I was in the library picking out DVDs to watch and decided to sit down on the floor to get a better look at the row instead of having my butt up in the air. After sitting for a while, I could not get up. I thought that I was going to fall asleep right then and there.

I did manage to get up and walk all the way back to my apartment. Slowly. Very slowly. I curled up in my bed and popped in a DVD. I watched “The Shop Around the Corner”. This film was the inspiration behind “You’ve Got Mail”. It was such a lovely film! Especially because it starred my favorite actor, Jimmy Stewart! It was a great choice.


Today is the first game of the football season at my university and stupidly I have nominated myself to be on weekend duty. I thought that the game was an away game. I did the same thing for the next home game as well. Where was my brain?

I will be there cheering in spirit.


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