On this cloudy morning, surrounded by the coziness of my boudoir, I prepare myself to complete one of the first “big girl” job applications. I am applying for a position for Teach for America, providing education to low income areas throughout the country. It is such an august opportunity and something that I truly believe was made for. Even though my application has been done for a while, I can’t help but feel a little trepidation in submitting it. It is due tomorrow! I vow to submit it today (after relentlessly reviewing and editing it). With my first cup of coffee in my system I am hoping that it will help me have the moxie to write honestly and truthfully about my skills and qualifications, without being boastful.
I have been reading many Christian inspired blogs, and a recurrent theme that I have discovered was the call to “pray big prayers”, to ask for something huge. This is a new phenomenon to me. I have never felt that I was worthy of something great or wonderful. I have come to understand (somewhat) that God wants me to have a beautiful life and that He would love to bless me with the things that I desire. Asking for such things is kind of like standing up and saying “Yes, I do believe that I deserve this!”. This stems from a specific type of confidence which has been absent from my being for a while. Knowing that graduation is a measly couple of months away (!), I realize that this is the time to pray and to ask for “big” things.
My scenario reminds me of a devotional that I read a while back. Hurray, I actually feel like I learned something! It comes from 2 Corinthians 9:9
As it is written: “He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor; his righteousness endures forever.”
This is also what was broken down by the passage:
1. Whatever God leads us to do He will enable us to do by supplying the man power, the finances (such a big worry for me), and the know how-often times dramatically-if we continue to trust and obey Him
2. “We have not because we ask not” -> pray big prayers!!
3. We do not receive when our motives are impure -> asking for selfish things, I know that I am guilty of this (womp womp).
Keeping this passage and these three little side notes, I am going to start refining that application (probably with butterflies the size of elephants in my stomach!).
I am excited for what comes today! Hopefully it is not too rainy.
I also started a “21 things page” for the 21 things that I will try to accomplish before I turn the big 22!