I am in my twenties, but when I really think about it, I feel as if I did not actually begin to live until I reached my mid-teen years. Those years are the ones, in my opinion, that start to shape who you are and who you are destined to become. That being said, I have only really been a person for about 6 years. Each year, each day, brings a new part to my journey.
Just the other day my staff and I were eating dinner at a dining hall on campus. The song “I wanna dance with somebody” by Whitney Houston started playing and I immediately started dancing. It was like it was some strange knee-jerk reflex. Anyways, I confided in my staff how much I loved that song, so much so that I listened to that song on Valentine’s Day. Alone. On repeat. To make me feel like not crying. I was in a quasi relationship that was so destructive to my inner being and that chipped away at the most important parts of my soul.
I bring this embarrassing, the romantic comedy type, moment up because I believe that it is all a part of the journey that I am on. I have struggled with relationships for such a long time (it seems). The person that I was my last school year seems to have gotten lost and is no longer with me. I feel as if I have become more of the person that I am supposed to be. In essence, embracing who I am and embracing the world that I love.
My friendships seem stronger. I feel less fear. I have more love in my heart. So many slight changes have truly made an impact on me for the better. A part of that is due to my relationship with God. A stranger I was to him after a series of unfortunate events, I have made my way back into his presence, knowing that even in my darkest hour that he was right there beside me waiting with the love that I so desire to have.
We all have worries, it is the banality of being human. My worries seem to be less potent. I thank God for every day, every beautiful moment.
Perusing the internet today, I found a verse that spoke to me.
Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.