I got myself all worked up today about all sorts of things. Honors thesis, money, scholarships, grad school, job applications, career paths, a lack of a boyfriend, questions for the universe and beyond. Basically, if there was something that I could freak out about, I did.
I’m feeling somewhat lonesome now that training is over and I am no longer mandated to hang out with 160 other students. I am praying that my friends will arrive back in the campus area soon and that my residents move in as well. I also would love to meet my roommate! There are definitely a multitude of things to look forward to.
Upon some reflection this evening, I stumbled across a poem that I had read a few years back my Emily Dickinson.
This is my goal in life, more or less. I think that I need to be reminded every once in a while of that instead of stressing out about door decorations or if the social program is successful.
Also, it was rainy and gloomy today which did not help raise already somewhat down feelings.
Plus, I keep having dreams about my ex-boyfriend. For some reason I dream that we are still together and I break up with him. It has happened at least 5 times since the break up. Now don’t get me wrong, I want nothing to do with the guy. He is a terrible terrible person. Really terrible. I am so thankful that I am out of that relationship. But why the dreams?
I thought one of the guys that I worked with from RA training was cute. Tiny crush alert. He even asked me (in detail) about just where on campus I am working as an RA and compared that location to his own. He had his phone out and I really thought that he was going to ask for my number…
The good news is that, while waiting for my staff to go to dinner, a truck load of young aged movers drove by in a truck and 99% of them were ogling at me very very very conspicuously and I did not yell “what do you want?!?!” at them like I wanted to.
I see a lot of growth in myself 🙂